This review has been brought into line with the Imperial Scale.
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March 25, 1995
Vivid, 1994
Dir: Tom English
Cast
Janine, Julia Ann, Leena, Asia Carrera, Dyanna Lauren,
Melanie Moore, Steve Drake, Tom Byron, Marc Wallice
Synopsis:
Steve Drake is a club owner who wants to break up the
dance act Blondage. With Blondage broken up, Bob's will
close, and Steve's will be the only club in town. Leena
is in on the sting to break up the girls as Steve's
fiancee.
The flick is mostly a series of dance sequences from Blondage's
strip-club repertory. Interspersed are inane scenes of plot.
Scene Breakdown:
Dance 1: Blondage (Julia Ann & Janine)
A typical soft-core strip-club dance with much posing. There
is looping of audience reaction shots (why?!?) There's no
nudity. A Rolling Stone's type of track is playing. I wonder
if they use a Rolling Stones tune in their act, and couldn't
get clearance for the video...
Dance 2: Blondage
Some Genesis ("Mama" from their self-titled album) type music
is playing. They get naked now, and have some girl-girl fun.
Steve Drake makes his entrance in the audience. The gals drip
wax on each other. I think this is the closest we'll ever see
Janine with white, sticky stuff covering her abdomen... Janine
waxes some guys in the audience, as Julia plays with Steve
Drake's affections.
The "sex" is all strip-club stagy, which means over-
exaggerated moves for the patrons in the back. It may be fine
live, but on TV it looks stupid.
Dance 3: Asia Carrera and Dyanna Lauren
To actually put their names in the credits and on the box is
a crime. The girls are in this movie for about 30 seconds,
and their clothed the whole time. If I was a Dyanna Lauren
fan and got this flick because of her, I'd be PISSED.
Scene 1: Blondage
Dopey "backstage" chatter. ("Was it good for you, too?"
Please.) Retarded champagne fun, shaking and squirting... the
gals try to generate "heat" but the scene is mis-directed. I
decide I like the rounder look of Julia Ann compared to the
concentration camp gaunt of Janine. They 69 each other.
Yippee.
Scene 2: Leena, Marc Wallice & Tom Byron
Marc owns "Bob's" and Leena applies for a job. She has to
dance for the guys, and blow jobs wouldn't hurt either! (Go
figure... the EEOC must not exist in pornland...)
She dances to some song which must not match what is playing
on the soundtrack, because the rhythm is all off. She fucks
and sucks Marc and Tom. She does some RC and Marc takes her
anally (not while she RCs... sorry)
The boys cum on her face, and she takes it like she is wont to
do, but she is all weird when she does, her eyeliner is all
smudged, and she keeps rolling her eyes back into her head...
spooky.
Dance 4: Blondage
Faux En Vogue music ("Free Your Mind") accompanies more
softcore, strip-club voguing. Whatever... They're not grabbing
dollar bills out of my mouth, so why bother?
Dance 5: Blondage
They use some milk on Julia Ann. More overplayed, dance hall
"sex." Some "lucky" fat guy is pulled out of the"audience"
and has his bare ass cat-o-nine-tail'd a few times by the
girls. Janine gives him a kiss on the cheek... on his face!
Scene 3: Leena, Blondage
Leena starts to insinuate herself between the girls, but they
just fuck instead. I expected more from the three of them. FF
through most.
Scene 4: Julia Ann, Steve Drake
Where's Aaron Colt? Thank God he's MIA. Anyway, they fuck
with a condom. He cums lamely on her tits.
This scene is intercut with:
Dance 6: Melanie Moore, Dyanna Lauren, Some Skank
Mel and Dyanna appear for maybe 30 seconds apiece, while some
flat chested, skanky looking girl dances around for another 30
seconds. Vivid is bordering on fraud with these credits...
Drama 1: Leena, Steve, Blondage
In the only dramatic non-sex scene, Janine and Julia Ann have
a fight. Steve Drake rushes in and tells Julia she can go
with him. Suddenly, out of NOWHERE, Leena turns on him and
gets the girls back together. Marc throws Steve out for
trying to break up his Blondage...
This leads us to...
Dance 7: Blondage
I was so sick of the dancing at this point, I FF to the end.
They wore some shiny leather outfits that had a touch of
bondage overtones to them.
CONCLUSION
Whatever. There was a lot of dancing, and not much
else. Granted, for those of us in states with restrictive
dance laws, it was novel to see what may happen in other
states.
However, the sex was often dull. Leena's facial was a semi-
bright spot, but her eye thing made is less than enjoyable for
me.
Rating: 2.20
Check out information for this movie at Heretic's Adult Film Database: Blondage (1994).
Back to Index
Created: Sunday, October 29, 1995, 8:53:09 PM
Last Updated: Sunday, October 29, 1995, 8:53:09 PM
169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late." HoME干别人老婆嗯啊小说
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169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late." HoME干别人老婆嗯啊小说
ENTER NUMBET 0017