From [email protected] Wed Dec 27 23:23:43 EST 1995
Article: 86068 of alt.sex.movies
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From: [email protected] (patrick collins)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
Subject: Re: Review - Patrick Collins' _The Bottom Dweller 33 1/3_ (1995)
Followup-To: critique
Date: 26 Dec 1995 21:09:05 -0700
Organization: Elegant Angel
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In article <[email protected]>, [email protected]
says...
>
>"The Bottom Dweller 33 1/3" (1995)
>Prod/Dir : Patrick Collins
>Stars : Roscoe Bowltree, Careena Collins, Marilyn Martin, Joey
Silvera,
>Nici Sterling, Sofia Ferrari, Petra, Jake Steed, Shawn Ricks, Andrea,
>Mike DeShane, Bruce Seven.
>ELEGANT ANGEL PRODUCTIONS
>
>Note : No writer is credited, leading me to believe (Unless Mr Collins
>can prove otherwise) that this film was improvised.
>
>Before we begin, I'd like to say that I have not seen either of the
>previous "Bottom Dweller" movies (and after this I don't think I want
>to!) so I may be missing out on several in-jokes. Although I doubt
>this...
>
>Anyway, we open with some lovely scenic shots of a harbour and see
>Patrick... erm, Roscoe cruising his boat (The Bottom Dweller) around
>the seas, to the nautical tones of John Further's soundtrack. Here he
>reprises his role as Harry Dweller, the world famous sex therapist cum
>sailor who, at the start of this film, tells us that due to the fact
>that his Uncle (Bruce Seven) has died, the IRS wish to freeze all his
>assets and steal his boat. (Huh?) However, he thinks B7 is still
alive.
>
>So, not being too happy about this he decides to visit Careena
Collins,
>the banker from Hell, who (to begin with) isn't much of a help to him.
>However, she's heard a rumour that he's a world famous sex therapist
and
>says that she'll get on the phone to her pals at the IRS, if he'll
cure
>her sexual hang-ups. We now enter a five minute exchange of dialogue
in
>which Careena's character is introduced as being an ex-nurse, a
>workaholic, a member of the KKK (!) and a girl who, despite only
having
>had sex in the missionary position, wants to see if a dog will cum in
her
>mouth if she sucks it off for long enough!!! (Puppy squeals rip across
>the soundtrack as she says this!) Roscoe decides to "help" her. In
order
>to do this, he makes her masturbate in front of him for awhile, while
he
>calls her names like "slut". She looks bored throughout this
masturbation
>sequence and continues to look bored as she is rolled over to Roscoe
to
>give him a VERY brief BJ before he blows his wad in her mouth. She
spits
>it all out extremly quickly and awaits her next instructions...
>
>Roscoe tells her to go to his house, blindfold herself and wait for a
>man to come along... This man, as it happens, is Jake Steed. He
appears
>before her, she sucks him off, he sticks it in her. I notice that in
>this scene (and the last) Careena has this AWFULLY annoying habit of
>purring like a cat. It's loud and offputting. To make things worse,
>Jake grunts like a boar during the sequence, and therefore, any heat
>that may have been generated is lost in a plethora of animal noises!
>We get a brief (10 seconds?) Reverse-cowgirl which isn't erotic at
all,
>before Careena flips herself round for a spot of anal cowgirl. This
>goes on for awhile, is very repetetive, and Careena is almost fully
>clothed, to boot. Definately not a good thing. I think there's a bit
>of doggie after this, but I FF'd through it, until the facial at the
>end, which wasn't too good (most of the cum landed on the blindfold!).
>Only after the facial does Jake say (in a sinister voice) that he's a
>black man, and Careena (being a KKK member) looks as if she's about to
>vomit. Can you please explain, Patrick, what you considered was either
>a) erotic or b) relevant in that scene? Careena's character vanishes
>after this, never to be seen again, and the whole exercise seems like
>a depressing waste of time. Also, the sex seemed VERY rough and not
>too pleasant...
>
>Anyway, now we cut to Roscoe and Joey Silvera walking along the
harbour,
>Roscoe explaining his problems to Joey. Joey claims to have once been
>a private dick and offers to locate Bruce Seven. Interestingly, Joey
>says that B7 was last seen in Brazil, despite the fact that Roscoe had
>earlier mentioned the Bermuda Triangle. Then again, this is an Elegant
>Angel film, so I guess it wouldn't be complete without a trip to
either
>Brazil or Hungary! Anyhow, Roscoe gives Joey $500 and then goes to
visit
>one of his many "patients", Mike DeShane.
>
>Mike has a problem (not explained at all) so Roscoe's solution is that
>Mike fantasizes about screwing. Huh? What sexual hangup could possibly
>be solved by fantasizing about screwing? Surely too much fantasizing
is
>a hangup in itself? I'm confused... Anyhow, Mike hallucinates that
some
>foreign blonde chick called Petra is fondling herself on his pool
table.
>She's not too pretty and is just too large for my likings, although
>videographer Michael Cates does get some nice upskirt shots of her as
>she plays pool (I like those sort of voyeuristic angles). This lasts
all
>of five minutes, before Roscoe tells him to keep fantasizing until the
>problem goes away (!). Huh? Anyway, Mike does this... First we see
Petra
>using a vibrator on herself for a bit, then we move outdoors where
Mike
>screws Petra, in an average (at best) scene. There's a bit of anal in
>there somewhere, for those who care, but it's badly executed and
devoid
>of heat. The scene ends in a very small shot to the chin. Petra looks
>really upset that nothing much came out!
>
>Now we move on to some more irrelevant bullshit (IN BLACK AND
WHITE!!!)
>with Joey dreaming that he's on a boat or something screwing a VERY
>ugly girl with a grossly oversized butt. This is Andrea, BTW. She
sucks
>him off, briefly, he very quickly penetrates her and then Roscoe
appears
>to wake him up. No cum shot and we're back to colour again. It turns
out
>that Joey's been drinking and as a result Roscoe's decided not to
employ
>him to find B7. Roscoe walks off, and on comes Marilyn Martin, the
lady
>from the IRS. She asks Joey where she can find Harry Dweller, and out
>of guilt for letting Roscoe down, Joey tells her that HE is Harry
>Dweller.
>She takes him up to a hotel room (no reason) and her burly bodyguard
>seems to want to throw him off the balcony. She says that this is not
>nessecary and then she states that she's heard about his therapist
skills
>and wants him to (guess what?!) treat her sexual hangups! So we
adjourn
>to the bedroom (hehe)...
>
>Marilyn is adorable, but that goes without saying. We begin with a
little
>bit of foot fetish/toe sucking (This IS a Patrick Collins film) but
I'll
>forgive him this time, as Marilyn as the most pretty little feet I've
>seen in a long time, and I have to admit that I wouldn't mind sucking
on
>them myself! After this has gone on for a few minutes she gives him a
>BJ, before he flings her on to the bed and they both get nekkid. The
>scene that follows is remarkably hot. Reasons? Firstly, Marilyn. She's
>really nice to look at (IMHO, of course) so that's an immediate plus.
>Although, she is wearing a little too much make-up in this scene...
>Secondly, it's done on a bed for a change, instead of all these weird
>settings that the modern day porn filmmakers tend to like. Thirdly,
>the lighting is a lot better in this scene than in the rest of the
movie.
>Finally, Joey Silvera's a much better performer than all the other
males
>in the cast. True, he looks like everyone's "Uncle Frank" but when you
>compare him to the last Bozo (Mike DeShane) you can see that he gets
the
>job done, PROPERLY. Anyhow, he rubs Marilyn's (remarkably fleshy)
inner
>labia for a bit, to her obvious delight, then screws her (mish as
Peter
>would say) for a few minutes, with Marilyn making a lot of noise. They
>swap positions for a bit of cowgirl, during which she rubs her
adorable
>little body all over him (lucky S.O.B.) and then he rolls her on her
side
>for some anal. My jaw dropped when she went a2m THREE TIMES IN A
ROW!!!
>They probably would have done it for longer, but Joey (understandably
so)
>is too aroused to continue and pops his load in her mouth. A
>dissappointing climax to an otherwise sizzling scene.
>
>Now, back to the crap.... Gratuitous footage of Joey on a beach in
>Brazil, obviously outtakes from other Evil/Elegant Angel movies. Then
we
>cut to Roscoe's house, where he is sitting with Shawn Ricks, Nici
>Sterling &Sofia Ferrari, more so-called patients with imaginary
hangups.
>No explanations, they just break into a four-way screw. We start with
>some ultra-dull foot fetish shit from Roscoe on Nici before breaking
into
>a super-slow g/g with Sofia and Nici, then Nici sits on Shawn's face
>while Sofia blows Roscoe. I must say now that I don't think much of
Nici
>Sterling (looks too much like a cheap whore for my tastes) and Sofia
is
>merely passable, so that could be why I didn't like this scene. But as
it
>continues, we get cowgirls, rev-cowgirls, a walk-around-the-room anal
on
>Nici, some oily anal on Sofia, some "squirting" from Nici (**Note :
>Roscoe's hand is in the way, so I can't tell if this is an orgasm or
if
>she's justincontinent. Either way, I wouldn't want to be on the
recieving
>end**), blow jobs galore, and much swapping about of partners. It ends
>with a couple of oral cumshots and a bit of blowing bubbles with the
>semen (Tres gross). Chalk up another sexual hangup cured by the great
>Harry Dweller. NOT!
>
>Anyhow, to wrap up this mess of a film, we now see Roscoe making his
way
>to the IRS (What happened to Joey? More to the point, what happened to
>Careena? I thought she was supposed to solve this mess!) to tell them
>that he wasn't giving them a penny. They say that he doesn't have to
>because his Uncle Bruce has turned up and sitting in the office. The
>film ends with Bruce telling Patrick :-
>
>"Next time you want to find me, try your computer. I'm on the
internet!"
>
>Oh, God, please...
>Anyhow, overall, a GRAVE disappointment from Mr Collins. I KNOW he can
do
>better than this... All the sex scenes were pooperoos except the
Marilyn
>one, the plot was limp and what little there was was contradictory,
>confusing and stupid, the humour was non-existant and the scene with
>Careena and Jake was postivitely sinister, and overall the whole thing
>left with a bad taste in my mouth, much like I'm sure it did Marilyn
(a2m
>THREE TIMES! Still can't believe that).
>Ripped off by Elegant Angel... Whatever next? I may have expected this
>sort of shit from John T Bone, but from Patrick?! Oh, it makes me want
>to weep... Never mind.
>I give this one a 2.00 on the Imperial scale, but consider the
following
>points :-
>-That grade is based almost solely on how I feel about Marilyn. If you
>feel otherwise, knock off 1.99.
>-I haven't watched a porn film in nearly a month, so I was quite
>desperate
>to get at this one. Therefore that mark may be TOO GENEROUS!!
>-I was in a good mood when I wrote this...
>Actually the more I think about it, it probably deserves much less...
>
>Happy viewing!
>Wayne.
>
>AND A MERRY XXXMAS TO YOU ALL!!!
>
Hey Wayne, This movie is nominated for BEST ALL SEX VIDEO, BEST COUPLES
SEX SCENE, got a FULLY ERECT from HUSTLER, 4 STARS VOLCANIC from ADAM
FILM WORLD and I THINK A 100% from SCREW. I don;t mind the critique, (
different strokes" I do however NOT understand the personal attack on
NICI.....
--
--
Patrick Collins
Elegant Angel
[email protected]
169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late."