From [email protected] Sat Mar 18 12:13:34 EST 1995
Article: 52612 of alt.sex.movies
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Date: Sat, 18 Mar 1995 14:19:58 UTC
Subject: REVIEW: Anal Agony + more (LONG)
Lines: 184
Status: RO
Well, here goes another review (and a half -- I'll explain later). I
was at loose ends (no pun intended) for a bit recently and rented
several vids (two of which I've already posted reviews of), including
"Anal Agony," a 1993 (or 94 depending on whether you believe the
copyright notice on the tape label or on the video itself) Max Steiner
produced/directed vehicle for Vanessa Chase.
I was a little disappointed with this video for some reason. Perhaps it
was because my expectations were rather high based on what I'd heard
about it before seeing it or my recollection of other Max vids I'd seen.
But, I digress.
"Anal Agony" stars Vanessa Chase (pictured on the front of the box),
Anna Malle, Sally Layd, Dave Hardman, Sean Michaels, and some guys who
aren't mentioned in the credits but are in the video anyway.
To start off, there are pictures on the box which are not in the video.
That ALWAYS pisses me off. But, again, I digress. My apologies. On
with the review.
As the video opens, we see Vanessa, looking fetching, and Dave.
Vanessa is shown leading Dave to her apartment. The conversation is
intended to show that she is a school teacher or librarian or something,
which is reinforced by her clothing and the glasses (those were a nice
touch, and she keeps them on through the whole video if I remember
correctly). At any rate, we cut to Vanessa sucking cock. She does not
do deep throat here, but gives a good performance anyway. Dave is a
nice looking guy, but he should forget about trying to do an impression
of Max, he just ends up sounding like Randy West. Next, Dave licks
Vanessa's pussy, and boy is this a wet scene (literally--he drools all
over her cunt; very messy, but yummy looking, I thought). She's really
seeming to get into it (I like the sound of Vanessa's voice when she's
having sex), and then Dave proceeds to try and put a half erect cock in
her pussy. After a bit of soaking in her honey pot, we cut to a scene
of him REALLY pounding her. He tells her that what she really needs is
a cock in her ass, and proceeds to put it there. Vanessa complains that
it hurts (several times), but gets a good butt reaming anyway, including
some reverse cowgirl. At last, Dave is pounding her butt doggie style
and she announces that she's "real close" to cumming. This is Dave's
cue to pull out and jerk off in her open mouth (she's frowning and
holding her mouth open for his cum anyway -- very hard to buy) and all
over her face (and glasses; a cute touch). She's obviously pissed
because she was "so close to cumming" but didn't make it. A little
humor is added here, as Dave looks down at her and says "well, I got
what I came for, so I'll be leaving now" (or something like that).
Next scene is Vanessa in (ostensibly) her therapist's office. The
doctor is played by Ms. Layd, a rather husky looking blond whom I've
never seen before. She's trying to help Vanessa with her orgasm (or
lack thereof) problem. She suggests that Vanessa needs to take some
risks, and proceeds to bang her with a strap-on (a BIG strap-on) fore
and aft. Lots of nipple pulling here. Vanessa seems to be having a
good time, but eventually, Sally tires out and apologiezes for not
making Vanessa cum.
Cut to, Vanessa and Anna Malle by a pool. Anna tells Vanessa that she
had the same problem, but it was solved by taking on two guys at once
(which is a cue to cut to another scene, featuring Anna and a pair of
studs).
(perhaps they could have borrowed the "swish pan" effect from "The Man
>From U.N.C.L.E." for this transition)
Anna is sunning her sexy self in the woods when two hunters happen upon
her and proceed to have their way with her. She is quickly subdued and
then begins hungrily devouring the two cocks. She gets sucked and
fucked and then the guy with the bigger of the two dicks starts putting
it in her ass. She protests that she hasn't done that before (I laughed
out loud on that line, it was so unconvincing), and then takes it like a
trooper (yes, yes, it rhymes with pooper), eventually ending up laying
down from a reverse cowgirl into a DP (she begs for a cock in her pussy)
which is rather vigorous. Inevitably, we cut to the two guys unloading
on her face and in her mouth (why was I NOT surprised when she blew
bubbles with the jiz?). The only onther performance of Anna Malle that
I have seen is GangBang Girls #14. Anal Agony pales by comparison.
O.K., now we have the next scene, back in the Doctor's office, as Sean
Michaels (who is apparently Vanessa's Ex) is getting briefed on
Vanessa's problem (for some odd reason I didn't wonder about
doctor/patient confidentiality here). Sally explains some of what
happened on Vanessa's last visit and then proceeds to have a royal suck
and fuck session with Sean, taking his entire length in her ass (yeah,
he REALLY slams her butt, and even without looping it was a fairly long
session) and then getting his load in her mouth and on her face.
Last scene. I got my hopes up when Sean is shown driving up to
Vanessa's house (she's out back grading papers or something). But,
instead, we see two "prowlers" sneak up on Vanessa and then ravish her.
The whole vid has been a buildup to this point, and we know that when
these two guys finally DP her, she's going to get her rocks off.
Ho-hum. Can you say "predictable"? Oh, yeah, they both cum on her
face. Surprise. Oh, yeah, again, she screams out an apparent orgasm as
she's getting it in the pussy and ass (I almost forgot that part).
You know how those Perkins adds make all their food look so great, you
just can't wait to get there and have some, and then you do and it's so
boring you can't believe it? Well, that's kind of how I felt after
watching this. Are Max's other directorial efforts like this? Here's
my laundry list of criticisms:
1. Too predictable. I can't explain this, but in Max's other vids (the
ones he stars in) even though I know pretty much all the things he's
going to do, it still seems somewhat spontaneous. This video was
anything but (yes, that's one "t" not two).
2. Poorly edited. This was supposed to be a profesional video. Looked
more like Mr. Peepers or some other amateur vid, only without the
spontenaiety which sometimes makes them more exciting.
3. Unimaginative. Every scene follows, almost, the same pattern.
On the other hand, Vanessa has a body which is always worth a look, as
does Anna Malle (even with the obviously fake tits). Sally Layd is what
we used to call "well upolstered" but isn't hard to look at either. The
butt slammin' she takes from Sean is memorable.
All in all, I'd give it a 2.5 out of 5, but I wouldn't buy it.
Finally, a few words about another Max Hardcore vid I saw recently
(well, actually it was about a month ago). I don't remember all the
details, but thought I'd share what I COULD remember.
This one had the word MAX in big letters on the front next to the number
3. Underneath that, it said something like "The Conquests of Max
Hardcore."
There were three scenes. All three were fairly hot. Don Fernando
appears with Max in the second scene. The women are not named.
Scene one features a tiny titted blond with a slight acne problem who
appears to be 19, and that's what she tells Max in the video. Max is
looking for her father, who we learn won't be home for an hour, so, of
course, Max has to bang the blond to pass the time. This is a rather
NASTY scene. The girl is sucking on a lolypop of some sort, shaped like
a long, narrow, cone. When we get to the point where she is sucking
Max's cock (more on that later) he has her fuck his ass with it (yes,
penetration is achieved) and then put it back into her mouth. This
happens several times. The blojobs in this and the third scene are the
messiest I've ever seen. TONS of saliva, which Max has the women play
with, blowing bubbles, dripping long strings of it onto their tits, etc.
But, again, I digress (my apologies). Max fucks the blong babe on a
pool table, eventually working his dick into her ass. Very serious Max
Hardcore fucking here. Finally, he pulls out and has her suck him off
(I think I recall that there was no edit here, for you ass to mouth
fans), depositing a large load on her face and in her mouth. One of the
problems with Max's vids is that he doesn't let them swallow the jiz.
He always has them spit it out. What a waste.
Scene two features a brunette I didn't recognize who starts out
masturbating in the kitchen (this is very hot, btw), and is soon joined
by her boyfriend, Don Fernando, who proceeds to give her the tongue
lashing she deserves (man, does this guy like to eat pussy or what, but
then, I'd almost rather eat pussy than fuck, so who am I to talk),
followed by a vigorous deep pussy massage. You guessed it, Max joins
them for a sex sandwich, with our hero going in the back door. And,
yes, the two guys jerk off on her face (though it appears that Don lost
his load early), and Max provides a nice facial.
Finally, the vid concludes with Max and a dark haired Italian
(apparently -- she DID have a cute Italian accent) beauty. Mmmm-mmmm,
she looked pretty tasty to me. This scene has the most saliva of all,
and Max makes excellent use of it. It's all over her face, her tits,
his balls, EVERYWHERE. He uses it as lube for a great titty fuck (don't
see those very often any more), which she really seems to get off on.
The rest of the sex is also excellent, and the girl is VERY hot. Yes,
we see Max pull out of her ass and put it in her mouth as I recall.
Messy oral orgasm, as usual.
Comparing this to Anal Agony, I'd say it was much hotter (at least the
first and last scenes were).
Well, I've droned on long enough. Hope these reviews aren't too long,
or boring. Feel free to write to me about your favorite Max video (or
any other asm related topic). I enjoy e-mail.
Wyvern
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169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late."