From alt.sex.movies Mon Apr 24 11:22:26 1995
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Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1993 19:14:17 UTC
Subject: Review: "California Pizza Girls", starring Kiss and Tiffany Minx
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Status: RO
Review of "California Pizza Girls", starring Kiss and Tiffany Minx
After my first visit to "Hooters" (see my article of a few weeks ago),
I thought "Why doesn't someone do a porn ripoff of this?". Great minds
think alike: I offer as evidence "California Pizza Girls".
"California Pizza Girls" stars the same guy who does the "Breastman"
series, a fairly scuzzy-looking character with a New York Italian
accent. The plot, such as it is, concerns a pizza place that is
losing money and decides, wonder of wonders, to hire fabulous babes
to work for them to drum up business.
The dialog is laughably silly, even for a porn video. Here's the
first scene:
(Cute blonde walks into the restaraunt)
Guy: What'll it be?
Girl: Gimme a calzone.
Guy: How do you like that?
Girl: (seductively) Beefy.
Guy: Fuck.
And then they have sex on the counter. Hey, I don't write 'em,
I just review 'em.
Anyway, I mentioned "Hooters" before. One scene is definitely Hooters-inspired.
A newly-hired waitress is bending over wiping tables, wearing extremely
short orange shorts and a skimpy orange halter that barely contains her
ample breasts. Now the uniform doesn't say "Hooters", presumably to avoid
copyright infringement, but the effect is unmistakable. Needless to say, she
ends up stripping and doing the nasty with the owner of the place, with
plenty of spicy talk during the action. If you've ever been to Hooters,
you'll love this scene.
The other scene was with a brunette, also slim, stacked, and very pretty.
(Kiss? Tiffany Minx? There were no faces with the credits, so I can't
tell you who was who). She wasn't wearing the Hooters uniform, but her sex
scene was also really good. The thing I liked best about both these scenes is
the use of full body shots. Close up genital penetration just doesn't do it
for me. I like it best when penetration is shown while the entire woman is
in shot: gorgeous body, bountiful breasts, pretty face smiling while we watch
her being penetrated. This kind of shot is not easy to set up, but both
the "Hooters" scene and this one manage it very well. I wish more porn
filmmakers would do it. Am I the only one who looks for this in sex scenes?
Anyway, "California Pizza Girls" is a must rent for anybody who's
ever fantasized about doing it with a "Hooters" girl, and for anybody
who likes full body camera angles. Maybe somebody who's familiar with
Tiffany Minx and Kiss can tell us more about them.
V
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169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late."