From [email protected] Sat Jul 29 18:54:27 EDT 1995
Article: 69944 of alt.sex.movies
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Path: roch3.eznet.net!news.sprintlink.net!EU.net!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
From: [email protected] (Sleepless in Seattle)
X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.movies
Organization: Anonymous forwarding service
Reply-To: [email protected]
Date: Sat, 29 Jul 1995 21:24:17 UTC
Subject: Review - Retrun of the Smart Ass
Lines: 161
Status: RO
While shopping for a video this week I came upon this one and remembered
how much I'd liked the first one of the series (The Smart Ass Enquirer)and
decided to try this one. My luck recently had not been good so I was hoping
this would change it. I was not disappointed.
The Smart Ass Returns - Video Team 1993 Jim Enright Director
Krystina King, Rebecca Bardoux, Niki Sinn, Crystal Wilder, TT Boy, Marc
Wallice, Tom Byron and Jonathon Morgan (Special appearance it says)
Plot - It seems our action movie star Brock Rivers (TT Boy) is going flabby
and needs to be hammered back into shape by his new personal trainer, Rusty
(Krystina King). His bad habits include too much booze and too many women.
Anyway, our heroine arrive at Rivers house along with Sid Lipshitz (Jon
Morgan? I duuno. Slicked back hair, skinny, pierced nipple) to be met by
his butler Jamison (Marc Wallice). The go to the pool to find Brock
watching Molly(Crystal Wilder) and Gretchen (Rebecca Bardoux? Redhead, nice
natural breasts, cute but not outstanding with a very porkable ass) getting
it on by the pool. They retire to wait for this to finish and we get to our
first sex scene.
Molly / Gretchen. The girls go at it with Gretchen being the most vocal but
not totally believable. Molly works on her clit real hard so maybe it is
real. At this point let me declare that I am a Crystal Wilder fan. I have
never seen anyone enjoy butt fucking like this gal. If she hadn't ruined
her tits I'd be in love with her. But she screwed them up with silicone so
lust will have to do. Back to the review. This scene is a standard
girl/girl with almost no simultaneous interaction by the girls. First Molly
does Gretchen then Brock hands her a silver vibrator/dildo and she does
Molly. Lots of tit play for Molly and eventually Molly spreads her lovely
pussy wide for the dildo. Meanwhile TT Boy lays off to the side making
stupid noises (acting natural?). Molly (Crystal) really gets into being
porked with the dildo and makes a ton of noise while bouncing her butt all
over the place. (Another reason I love CW is she spreads wider and bounces
her ass around like she really enjoys it). Anyway a fairly hot girl/girl if
you like those things. I can take them or leave them. I watched this
because I kept hoping they would do something creative with the dildo and
Crystal's butt. They didn't but it seemed hot to me so I wasn't
disappointed.
Our hero leaves the girls once Crystal gets off and goes to meet his
trainer. He gets told what's planned and agrees in order to bone our
Krystina. Sid leaves and they make some small talk while TT boy makes a
pass and gets rejected. Some good one liners here. Rusty tells him to get
changed for a run around the grounds. Rusty is in charge and so they go
jog. There are some funny parts here where TT boy acts like a wimp and
Krystina looks nothing like a trainer. Dinner yes, a trainer no. We cut to
later in the day and see Rusty listening at Brocks bedroom door. Our next
sex scene follows.
TT Boy, Crystal Wilder, and Niki Sinn (at least I think it's Niki. I don't
know her form any other movies so I'm guessing. Dark headed girl, nice
natural breasts, tattoo on her left tit. She's the maid here) in the
shower. The girls give TT a dual blow job then they ask to be fucked and TT
obliges. First with the maid sitting on the edge of the tub and him in the
tub while crystal keeps Niki from falling out of the tub. Pretty standard
drilling though I must say I quite like Niki's pussy and ass. Pleasing to
the eye. Pity about the tattoo. Anyway this switches to Crystal getting
porked. She does a cowgirl and a RC with athletic variations on the RC and
then switches to doggie with one foot up on the edge of the tub so we can
see (how nice of them). Niki jills CW while she's getting fucked but it
looked a bit awkward and didn't add to the scene. TT then anals Niki ( I
would have done crystal because though Niki took it well and it appeared
she liked it, Crystal is one of the top ten butts to be fucked IMHO). TT
butts porks her hard while Crystal rides the side of his leg. He comes on
her asshole and pussy.
Rusty barges in tell TT boy to get rid of one of the girls and Crystal is
sent away as the maid works there. Too bad to lose such a good ass so early
in the flick. Anyway we cut to Rusty in the Kitchen with the maid. She's on
the phone and we get a bad continuity loss here. The maid tells her that
she has fucked Brock 700 times but never let him in her ass when we just
saw her let him in the ass. Anyway, Rusty is talking to Sid and the call
ends and we see Gretchen giving Sid a blowjob in his office.
Rebecca (?) and Jon (?) - If this is Rebecca I quite fancy her butt. Pity
they never put anything in it. This BJ goes on far too long and eventually
he porks her on the desk for a while (missing a good opportunity to butt
fuck her) then she finished him with a BJ. He pulls out and jacks off a
little to come near her face. Her BJ is good but not great and he's not the
best actor I've seen even by skin standards. A weak scene.
We cut back to the kitchen and Rusty and Jamison are talking about Brock.
he gets ready to go polish Brocks shoes when Rusty offers to let him polish
her ass. Finally we get to see Krystina in action.
Marc and Krystina in the kitchen. They start out in a standard kissing way
then he lays her on the counter and eats her pussy. She must have let her
hair grow back because I remember her with hairless pussy lips and I prefer
her that way. No real good shots of her ass but plenty of body shots. Her
tits are small but cute and natural HOORAY! They change to her giving a
kneeling BJ to Wallice and it must have been good. He fucked her mouth
soundly for a long time and she took ALL of him without a problem. What a
great mouth she has. It has to be one of the best BJs ever and he loses it
and comes in her mouth. She never lost a beat and kept right on with it in
order to keep him hard. It worked. Her turns her around and sound fucks her
doggie for a long time. Her pussy and ass are wet and ready. They then turn
around and he lays her back on the counter. (I think they must have had to
take a break here because when they he starts to fuck her on the counter
she's dry again. Anyway, he porks her missionary on the counter then she
asks for it up her butt. The guy must be a magician because he's standing
there. pants around his ankles, no shirt, fucking away and holding her legs
up around his ears. She asks for the butt fuck and Abbra Cadabbra a rubber
appears in his right hand. He slips it on quickly and then inserts in her
butt. Credit here, we get to see the tight and dry insertion I love it.
That's the way it is and they should show it more. He porks her hard and
then pulls out to come and Presto Chango, the rubber is gone and he cums on
her belly. I hated it when the missionary anal is the only one used. There
are so many better ways to do it. But the camera work was OK and I thought
the scene was above average.
We cut to TT boy running across his property made up to look like Rambo. He
knocks out two goons (Is one Tom Byron ??)and rescues Gretchen who is tied
to a tree nude from the waste down. He throws her over his shoulder and
carries her off. Did I say I liked her ass yet? In fact I thought this
flick had a nice array of pretty asses of various types. I didn't remember
Krystina having a mole or skin tag just outside her ass but it is there in
this film and you can't help looking at it. Anyway, TT carries Gretchen off
and the scene switches to Rusty and Brock watching the film on TV. It was
apparently his newest movie. He asks if she remembers her promise and she
says yes. Now for the final sex scene.
TT Boy and Krystina. This was supposed to be the climax but was only a fair
scene. She blows him showing once again how good she is at it and then she
rides him cowgirl. This switches to a missionary and he cums near her face
but misses her mouth. Roll Credits. Bah!
This could have been a great flick but weak direction let it down. They
failed to use Crystal Wilder's best assets and didn't take advantage of two
or three chances to get her and Krystina together where we could see them
butt fucked side by side. Niki and Rebecca are wasted mostly, Niki's one
anal was good and I would have loved to see Rebecca get analed. There is
some looping but not TOO much and we get a couple of quality anal scenes
but not what could have been. What a shame.
For those like me who prefer natural tits well, 3 out of 4 ain't bad. I
like Krystina's small perky ones and Rebecca and Niki's natural medium
sized ones. The girls pander a little to those who like special tastes too.
Only Krystina keeps her shoes on while she gets fucked all the rest expose
their feet. I know many like that. I don't mind one way or the other as
long as it makes sense. Krystina wears thigh high stockings that hold
themselves up in all of her scenes. That should please those that like that
sort of thing. And in one early scene Rebecca (?) sucks on TT boys toe
(Yuchhh!) I hope she didn't damage his brain!
All in all a better than average flick and a good rental particularly if
you like to see nice asses.
I'll give it a 2.95 on our resident experts scale.(Pardon my use of your
scale oh great Imperator but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery)
Until next time
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about the anon service, send mail to [email protected].
If you reply to this message, your message WILL be *automatically* anonymized
and you are allocated an anon id. Read the help file to prevent this.
Please report any problems, inappropriate use etc. to [email protected].
169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late."