WICKED PICTURES (1995)
director: Paul Norman
starring: PJ Sparxx, Jill Kelly, Niki Darling, Channone, Vince Voyeur, Dick Nasty, Tom Byron, Dr. Dan, Nick Knight
SCENE 1:
The setting is the stage of a highly exclusive strip club where unsuspecting couples, Jill / Vince, and PJ / Dr. Dan, have spent large amounts of cash to witness a live sex show. Unfortunately for them (and for the viewer), the exhibitionist sex unites the amazingly unattractive couple of Niki Darling and this fierce Puerto Rican guy who I�ve not been able to identify. I�m not certain of Niki�s exact race but I am certain that she is NOT lookin� good. Oh sure her body is ok (if you can overlook that corncob sized scar on her shoulder blade which suggests she�s been branded), but if you�re like me and place emphasis on faces, you�ll be pushing the ol� FAST FORWARD immediately thereafter. The �action� of the scene begins when her partner presses her back against the stage�s brass pole, grips her butt firmly and then attempts to push his entire head inside her vagina, and I prolonged FAST FORWARD momentarily because, with the amount of gel in his hair, there was a chance he might have actually succeeded. Also of note, during the horrific cunnilingus hours, he employs this bizarre rapid tongue fluttering technique that reminded me of highly sophisticated fishing tackle. The scene ends with a difficultly-acheived anal in which we are treated to the appetizing sight of something slimy and yellowish falling from his dick as he positions it.
The audience is, understandably, none-too-amused, other than PJ who is inexplicably aroused, and I had to chuckle at Dr. Dan looking at her flushing face with disgust.
SCENE 2:
Well, it turns out that Dr. Dan was upset, not because PJ somehow found anything remotely erotic about the aforementioned scene, but merely because he was jealous. What follows is a markedly unsettling scene in which he orders her to get out of the car and have sex with a dirty, straggly-haired vagrant (Tom Byron) on the sidewalk. PJ obeys wordlessly, wearing her drab pink dress that looks suspiciously like the waitress uniforms from Mel�s Diner, if you remember the bad sit-com, Alice. Even if you look past the utterly repulsive psychological suggestions of the scene, PJ is looking even dumpier than usual, and when she unhappily lifts and spreads her elephantine thighs, I assure you that this viewer was anything but erect. So as PJ goes through the motions, with her eyes screaming, "Save ME!!" throughout, we have to put up with the observing Dr. Dan saying things like, "Look at her lips. Do you want to fuck her?" AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL.
SCENE 3: Meanwhile back at the club, Vince has also transformed into a bastard and orders Jill, who is a stripper, to have sex with the first guy who approaches her for a lap dance, so that he can watch. Unfortunately for Jill, her first patron is a muscular guy with short-on-top/long-in-back hair wearing a truly hideous pair of jams. Jill, lookin� good in a lacy turquoise bra and a silver mini skirt, with silver thigh high boots, is the film�s only redeeming attraction. This scene is very brief and segueways directly into her subsequent encounter with Vince in the dressing room. Both Jill and Vince, we are expected to believe, are greatly aroused by now and waste no time getting his head up the silver skirt. "Ummm do you like my pussy?", she moans. Whatever. (FAST FORWARD while rolling my eyes.) But, once she gets him on the floor and pins his arms above his head, the film finally begins to score points. Except for the extreme close-ups of her slightly craterous complexion, she�s definitely exquisite and Vince is never able to get off the floor as she holds him prisoner from within. There is no definite resolution as his climax is internal. We know this because when she dismounts him, a large and disgusting supply of jism oozes from her and spills onto his chest. To make it worse she slides up, sticks her gooey snatch in his face, and makes him lick it. Maybe I�m in the minority here, but I was grossed out. Nonetheless, the scene was good.
SCENE 4:
PJ shows up to work at the club and sits down and introduces herself to Jill who is beautiful and applying makeup. They instantly hit it off and PJ ingeniously chooses "Fire" as her stagename to correspond with Jill�s "Ice."
Next thing you know it is their turn to dance for the high-paying couples and we�re �treated� to a high-energy strip show in which they begin in police uniforms and disrobe to reveal matching outfits that may best be described as a series of dog collars linked together to create an effect that is riveting for Jill, and shriveling for PJ whose big ass prances awkwardly about the stage.
The onlooking patrons this time are hot little Chanonne (Shannon?) and Dick Nasty who looks almost exactly like football great, Terry Bradshaw. I don�t have to tell you that while Channone (here with very short hair) is right up there with Vanessa Chase when it comes to not getting the acknowledgment she deserves (check out the limo scene in JULIA ANN SUPERSTAR); as gorgeous as she may be, I can not deal with the baboonish facial expressions and body hair of Dick Nasty. Thus, the scene becomes a total waste of her considerable merits.
The film ends with the continuation of the g/g between PJ and Jill which held my interest for as long as it took me to find the remote.
Conclusion: One decent scene with Jill -- but the predictable stupid g/g, and the waste of Channone are unforgivable.
Rating: 2
169 ¡°I can arrange all that.¡± Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,¡ªwith the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,¡ªsucceeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors¡ª" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses¡ªthought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly¡ª"it's getting late." HoME¸É±ðÈËÀÏÆÅàÅ°¡Ð¡Ëµ ENTER NUMBET 0017