Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies Subject: Review: Sex Lives of Clowns From: [email protected] (Chopped Liver!) Date: Thu, 28 Dec 1995 17:44:48 GMT This is my first attempt at providing a review of an adult movie, so if you don't happen to like it, tough.Title: Sex Lives of Clowns Company: VCA Pictures Director: Wesley Emerson Length: According to box, 90 minutes. According to my VCR, 112. Most Memorable Scene: Mike Horner taking his clothes off Overall Rating: *** 1/2 (Out of 5) Featuring: Jeanna Fine, Sarah Jane Hamilton, Kaitlyn Ashley, Debi Diamond, Crystal Wilder, Brooke Waters, Nicole London, Jonathan Morgan, Jon Dough, Mike Horner and Cal Jammer. As adult movies go, this has got to be one of the funniest concepts I've seen in quite a long time. I thought I'd never stop laughing from listening to Mike Horner singing in "My Bare Lady", but this one really does take the cake. The premise for the movie is Sarah Jane Hamilton playing the part of a journalist, interviewing clowns about their sex lives. The opening scene with Jon Dough taking a jog in his big floppy shoes is worth a chuckle or two. The first sex scene involves Debi Diamond looking as slutty as ever. This may simply be my view, but I think I liked her better when she didn't look wild but acted that way. Her appearance in this film simply was not flattering to her. She goes through a variety of positions with Jon Dough before gradually settling into a missionary anal. The second scene involves Jonathan Morgan, a scruffy looking clown who has been down on his luck lately. He recalls a time when he was adored by his fans, well, one in particular! Now, I'm not sure what Kaitlyn Ashley looks like, nor Brooke Waters. Kaitlyn sounds more like a blonde's name, so for the purpose of this review, the unknown blonde is Kaitlyn and the unknown brunette is Brooke. Anyway, Kaitlyn and Jonathan have a nice little "Man on Top 69" and then Kaitlyn mounts him for a little cowgirl action. They end up mishing until he pulls out and gives a "warning shot across the bow", if you know what I mean. Next we have a clown whose voice has been altered and is sitting in a dark room. He is telling the story about a co-worker of his that had a calliope music fetish. Then we see a scene with Mike Horner (the calliope fetishist) and Crystal Wilder and the unknown brunette (assuming she's Brooke Waters). Crystal got a bad bleach job, that's about all I can say. She looks like she came from a trailer park in Appalachicola, FL. Anyway, Brooke and Crystal take turns taking care of Horner, then Mike gets Brooke in a mish while munching on Crystal. Looks like fun! Anyway, after a few position changes, it ends up with Mike mishing Brooke again, while Crystal sits on Brooke's face. After the Mike Horner patented "Goofy Assed I'm Gonna Come Look" he splatters over both women's faces and they lick him clean. Well, as if this wasn't enough, the next scene involves Nicole London, a clown groupie, getting naked in the bedroom of two clowns - Cal Jammer and a guy that's not listed in the credits. Nicole is looking better (again, in my opinion) than she did a couple of years ago. At least now she's not smearing lipstick all over her face... At any rate, she ends up in a DP with the 2 clowns, with Cal Jammer doing the anal honors. Both guys come on her face. Merthful Mary. That's the character played by Jeanna Fine. She does look a bit cute as a clown, but things really get going once she and Kaitlyn start with a little lesbian loving. What's there to say about this? Jeanna licks Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn licks Jeanna. Jeanna toots her horn at the end. Next we see Sarah Jane sitting on her couch, reviewing her notes. She falls asleep and a dream sequence begins - Jon Dough (he is a clown, after all) is between her legs giving her a good licking. After a little exchange of oral favors Jon mishes Sarah until she has a squirting orgasm, then goes back at it and it looks like she attempts a second squirt, but my 19" TV just couldn't let me tell from my comfortable chair. If you're really that interested, buy the movie! Anyway, next Jon does a little doggie style sex with her before she moves around to the reverse cowgirl. I think Sarah Jane Hamilton is a beautiful, graceful woman, but that corset she's wearing makes her look bigger than she is around the hips. Finally, Sarah jumps off of Jon and gets a full glazed donut. According to the box, the movie should be over - the Sarah Jane scene ended at 93 minutes. However, we still have one more scene. This time it's Crystal Wilder and Cal Jammer. Pretty standard stuff here - they didn't save the best for last. In the end the film is dedicated to Cal Jammer. ============================================================== Chopped Liver! The opinions expressed are mine and everyone has a right to disagree with them. After all, what am I, chopped liver? Oh, never mind, I guess I am... [email protected] http://www.electricpages.com/epages/staff/hardware/choplivr ==============================================================
169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late." HoME干别人老婆嗯啊小说 ENTER NUMBET 0017