The first part in Patrick Collins' two part epic saga (continued in
"Everything is not relative") about incest in an upscale family.
I say "incest" but strictly speaking this is not the case as,
despite the fact that on the box cover it states that Danyel is Joey's
biological daughter, he states at the beginning of the film that she
is actually adopted. This means that Patrick can wimp out on the
"Incest" angle, therefore knocking the film down a grade or two before
it even begins. But anyway...
We open with a remarkably classy blues number as the opening theme,
courtesy of those lovely folks at Glenlyn Music. Now we cut to Joey
Silvera sitting in a dark room with a flashlight shining in his face.
Joey, it seems, plays "George", the head of a rich family who live in
L.A. in a big house. He introduces the characters in the cast by
talking to his psychiatrist and telling the tale in flashback. He
tells us (quite convincingly) that Danyel is his adopted daughter
and has been for some time, Yvonne is his wife (for two years),
Jasper is her daughter and Mark Davies is the man that Yvonne is
having an affair with. Joey also tells us that he has fallen in
love with Danyel and wants to divorce Yvonne in order to get to
her. Of course, to do this, he will first have to tell her that
she's adopted, which could be quite a difficult task. That's the
initial premise of the film, and quite a good one it is too. Now
we start to go into flashback...
Jasper is out walking the dogs one morning while Joey is searching
her room for something. He looks inside her underwear drawer, takes
out her panties and starts sniffing them with a look of both pleasure
and pain on his face. This is quite convincing as I can well imagine
Joey to be the "panty-sniffer" type in real life. Underneath the
panties he finds some naughty polaroids of Jasper masturbating, so
he takes them out and masturbates over them, there and then in her
room. Meanwhile, Jasper is returning to the house... She parks the
dogs outside, takes off her shoes, rubs her feet (remember who's
directing this film?), and eventually enters the house. Joey hears
her come in, so he puts away the polaroids into his pocket and rushes
downstairs to meet Jasper, who likes to call him "Daddy" despite
his objections. She's very bubbly and perky and acts like a 12 year
old around Joey as she tells him that she's going to put her shoes
away "like a good little girl"! After this, she goes upstairs for a
shower. This is quite an erotic sequence in itself really, not
because Jasper is attractive (she's way too large) but because we've
now had a detailed introduction into the characters and it seems as
if we are looking into their lives as though they are people we know,
and of course it's much more erotic to watch someone whom we may
well be attracted to in real life take a shower than it is to watch
some porno bimbo. But anyway, she takes the shower, gets out and
paints her toe-nails (in close-up of course) talking all the while
about how Joey will be so happy that her toe-nails are the same
colour as her finger-nails (I think Patrick went a bit overboard
with Jasper's character's love for Joey)! Following this, she decides
to masturbate, talking about Joey the whole time. Not a bad sequence.
This is intercut with shots of Yvonne and Danyel at work. They both
work for Mark Davies. Yvonne leaves after talking a bit of business
and Danyel tells Mark that she knows he's sleeping with her stepmother.
Mark looks surprised at this revelation. He looks even more surprised,
however when she starts to suck his dick! Again, a fairly erotic
sequence, despite the fact that I'm not a fan of BJ scenes, but Danyel
is talking dirty all the while and somehow this turned into a hot
sequence even though it only lasts about 2 minutes and she zips him
up with no cum shot. Strange..
Anyhow, we now move back to Joey's house, where he is sitting in his
bedroom jerkin' his gherkin over the photos of Jasper. Jasper has
now found out that her polaroids have gone so she walks into Joey's
room and seduces him. So, after a 30 minute introduction, we now
get to the first sex scene. In all truth, the build-up to it was
way more erotic than the sequence itself, but it's still quite hot.
They go through all the regular positions ("mish", doggie, oral) but
the interesting thing is the way that they both keep in character
throughout the scene and speak much of the dialogue while having sex.
As I said before, Jasper is not all that pretty so for a scene with
a less attractive girl it's quite erotic. Anyway, the cum shot is on
her tits following a bit of titty-fucking from Joey.
Next we cut back to Mark's office, where Yvonne enters and talks a
bit of business. I think they work for a lingerie firm or something
and Danyel is one of the models? I can't recall. But anyway, they're
going to London and taking Danyel with them. She's fairly happy as
her fiancee' Mario (whom we don't see) lives there. Mark tells his
secretary to hold all his calls, Danyel leaves and Mark and Yvonne
screw. Yawn. It was okay seeing Racquel Darrian screw her boyfriend
Derrick Lane over and over again because at least she was attractive,
but seeing Yvonne and Mark Davies go through the same dull motions
again and again gets boring. She really isn't all that attractive.
To be fair, though, if you haven't seen these two before and you do
think Yvonne looks quite nice then you will probably like this scene.
They both seem fairly into it, and there is an interesting anal towards
the end, where Mark just pokes the head of his penis into her butt
and then pulls it out again quickly, over and over again, therefore
giving fans of anal penetration something to rejoyce over. The cum
shot is a direct hit on her open asshole. It sort of drips out a bit,
so Mark wipes it off with her panties.
Cut to Danyel returning home (wearing a very nice Catholic schoolgirl
skirt with leather jacket) only to find that Jasper and Joey have
gone to "Cousin Bob's" for tea. She doesn't like all the time that
Joey's been spending with Jasper recently because she knows what
they're really up to. Thus she hatches a plan for revenge.... She
phones up Yvonne to say how excited she is because she's just
finished her new painting (She's a painter? I thought she was a
model? Weird...) and how she needs Yvonne to come see it, quickly.
So Yvonne packs up work and rushes home to see the painting. Danyel
unveils it and it turns out to be some kind of sapphic love scene.
Yvonne looks shocked at first, but then decides that it's quite
"erotic". Danyel starts fondling Yvonne and says that she's always
been attracted to her. So it's no surprise when they break into a
g/g scene. This has some nice moments (like Yvonne saying "no! no!
this is wrong!") and works quite well, despite the fact that I don't
like Yvonne very much. Danyel's okay, mind, despite the horrible large
tits. I can't recall but I don't think they use any of the Doc Johnson
toys that usually are mandatory with g/g scenes, so that's a plus in
my book. Eventually, after a fairly hot sequence, they collapse into
each other's arms.
And so ends the first half of the film. Okay so far? Yep, it's going
pretty good. I was getting into the plot, the sex was above average
(even the Yvonne/Mark Davies scene was better than they usually do)
and the acting was all of a fairly high standard (esp. Joey). How
could it go wrong from here? Well, it's an Elegant Angel film. That
means they have to either go to Brazil, Hungary or in this case London...
Joey finds out that Danyel has gone to London with Mark and Yvonne and
is not all that happy (She didn't tell him where she was going). She
'phones him up from London and asks him to come over and see her and
after a bit of begging, he agrees. For reasons not explained at all by
Patrick, he hires a prostitute played by Anjelica (butt-ugly British
brunette). One quick point. Joey's still in L.A. but he hires a British
prostitute. Wouldn't this have been more effective in the UK sequences?
Anyway, this is the worst scene in the movie and I watched most of it
on FFwd. It just didn't do anything for me. Interestingly, throughout
this scene, Danyel hides in the closet giving a BJ to an unknown penis,
which looks like Roscoe Bowltree and being as Patrick has a tendency
to be self-indulgent I'd say that it IS Roscoe Bowltree. Joey anals
Anjelica and eventually cums in her open asshole (this is gross, BTW)
and Roscoe shoots his wad over Danyel's face, which could have worked
but Danyel is wearing white-face paint (Dunno why, but Patrick put
some emphasis on this odd symbolism throughout the whole film) and
it looks a bit pathetic, white on white and all....
Cut to London. Yaaawwwwn. We get a bit of sight-seeing from Patrick's
camera (all still photos in succession) and see shots of Danyel walking
around in a red, white & blue USA jacket (a bit silly). This is dull
for me, as I'm English and I've seen it all before... But anyway, it's
time for Danyel to visit the mysterious Mario, her fiancee'. She walks
down the road and towards his house, where his nephew and wife (Edwin
Bush (wimpy British teenager) and Nici Sterling) are residing. To add
some more "incest" (cough!) to it, Patrick stupidly has Nici and Edwin
go through some stupid (and VERY badly delivered) exchange of dialogue
about how it's a good job they're not really related by blood because
that would make the "things they do" perverse. Edwin can't even keep
a straight face throughout this scene and it really looks bad... Danyel
knocks on the door and enters, looking for Mario. They say he's not
here (he's in Italy) but for some reason Danyel stays. Her and Nici
get into an argument when Nici calls her a "salesgirl" (ooh! getting
nasty now, aren't we?) and then they confess to both seeing Mario at
the same time. Danyel's pissed off that he's married and Nici's pissed
off that he's having an affair... The solution? Three way fuck of
course!!! So, Nici, Danyel and Edwin screw in the living room. As you
probably know (if you've been reading asm recently) I'm not exactly
a fan of Nici Sterling, so her presence here does nothing for me.
Thankfully we don't see much of Edwin, and overall the first half
of this scene is very boring. However, just to wrap things up with
a bang, Patrick livens thing up with an unbelievable REVERSE ANAL
COWGIRL (!!!) on Danyel. Who came up with the position of Reverse
anal cowgirl? They really do deserve a medal. This is a great bit
of screwing, the sort of thing we're used to from Patrick Collins,
and it goes on for quite a while and can't really be too nice for
Danyel, although she does make it seem as if she's enjoying it very
well. Eventually he shoots his load into mid-air and then does a
bit of anal re-insertion to finish with! Craaazy.
To conclude, Joey tells us that he didn't go to London in the end.
He decided to go to (Let's all groan together) Brazil. Apparently,
Danyel's real mother lives there and wanted to see him (yeah, yeah),
but really it's just an excuse for Mr Collins to take yet another
vacation in Rio... Luckily he saved all the Brazil footage for the
second part ("Everything is not relative") which I might review some
time, if I get the chance....
Anyhow, overall I'd say that this is a mixed bag. The first half of
it is pretty good (plot and sex-wise) but the second half's a hootin'
stinkeroo (except the RAC on Danyel). So, taking all this into account,
I'll score it lower than I probably should have and give it a 2.90
on the Imperial Scale. You can up that score by a fair proportion if you
want to compare it to Patrick's latest feature "The Bottom
Dweller 33 1/3" mind you...
Happy viewing!
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Created: Sunday, Saturday, December 30, 1995 - 7:58:14 PM
Last Updated: Saturday, December 30, 1995 - 7:58:10 PM
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169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late." HoME干别人老婆嗯啊小说
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